It Wasnt Even Sharp
by sw3ll
Summary: He was nothing more than a videotape, full of depressing memories. no one wanted to watch him anymore. One-SHot Warning: Oral Slash MM
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**Pairings: you can say its HP/DM**

**Rating: R**

**Summary: His life lately had been dark and depressing. He was nothing more than a full videotape, full of memories. Except one would not wish to keep on replaying this depressing videotape.**

**Title: It Wasn't Even That Sharp**

Harry's always been like that, at first he felt unwanted, what a horrible emotion. Then he felt loved. It should have felt nice and 'fuzzy' for lack of better word because of all those eleven years with the Dursleys, but no, it felt odd. Then when he met Malfoy and had to sit through the shit he had to say about his newfound friends, he felt unbearable hate.

Sometime around his third year, when that 'bloody chicken' had injured Malfoy, he didn't know what he thought about the other anymore. The way his face grimaced in pain. The way his body helplessly limped against the massive teacher named Hagrid when he was taken to the infirmary. The way he made that intimidating face when he had passed Harry the paper crane note. He could list it all; the irritating things Malfoy did to set him off all those years ago. But to the point, whatever the git did, he found himself entranced.

The bond Harry had with his housemates was strong. That's why he was angered when someone had told the slytherin prince about the 'feelings' golden-boy carried for him. He refused to talk to anyone in the common room. They denied it all and with all the lies fed to him ever since he was brought to this school, he could only believe so much. Right?

Of course Draco found the news amusing and used it against Harry to his twisted expense. He didn't waste time toying with Harry, all those years of bottled hatred. He pretended he cared and being the unloved individual in the 'relationship,' Harry pretended he believed.

His life lately had been dark and depressing. He was nothing more than a full videotape, full of memories. Except one would not wish to keep on replaying this depressing videotape. His life lately had been nothing but dim muses and unnecessary flashbacks.

They were both sitting on a transfigured couch since their affiliation was unwelcomed in both their houses. Snuggling beside each other in contentment either one afraid to break the silence, but one must.

'_Do you love me?' the darker of the too questioned and the answer was not said for a while._

'_Yes,' was the lie._

_They both knew it was. But Harry was unloved; a lie was more than enough._

Darker thoughts would take over him at inconvenient times and he found himself in trouble as soon as he would space out. Once it was with Professor McGonnogal and she was forced to take fifty points off her own house. Snape was not as kind as her though since he tended to lose more focus during that subject, his object of desire just across the room from him.

"MR. POTTER! WOULD YOU KINDLY PAY ATTENTION." The greasy teacher would bellow out and would proceed to take a million points off the house. This earned him glares from his fellow classmates and obvious snickers from the other house. The loudest of them, Draco Malfoy's.

Nowadays he spent most of his time at the astronomy tower just thinking, looking at the ground below. Far below. At this point in time grim thoughts would flood back in and he thought it silly to block them out. 'Wonder how much it would hurt?' his irrational side thought and the rational counterpart would always have something sarcastic to say like 'Why don't you try it out?' or 'Gee, I wonder.' Well, maybe it was that rational.

Food and Harry had been bitter enemies recently. Sometimes it would choke him, other times it refuses to taste good until Harry had followed his gut and stopped eating. It became apparent as bones started to make themselves known and he cursed his now empty gut. A lot of help that would do though. Even if he would eat, it wasn't like it would stay in his stomach. Bulimia managed to be one of his loyal companions along with insecurities and suicidal thoughts, bloody fun to be around.

His life lately had been darker and more depressing. He was much more than a full videotape, full of memories. Except one would not wish to keep on replaying this depressing videotape. His life lately had been nothing but dim muses and unnecessary flashbacks.

'How much do you love me?' the lighter of the two had asked one day. The other merely watched his lover and wondered why he would be asking such a ridiculous question.

'_More than anything.' he answered, actually he more like questioned. He was still puzzled by the question._

'_Then prove it to me.' the blonde countered, his eyes narrowing slightly. Never mind, that shocked Harry more. 'How?'_

He had lost his friends the day after. No, scratch that, he had lost everything the day after and all for the stupid need for his evident love to be proven, his stupid, evident, unrequited love.

Now, his house shunned him, The Daily Prophet had been interrogating him, Dumbledore acted bitterly and teachers took no regrets in deducting house points. Even McGonnogal found the 'Torture Harry' game entertaining. This lead up to Gryffindor losing the house cup and Slytherin rightfully claiming him. Oh, you should have seen the hostile glares.

They came back a year later, their last year, Harry being isolated from the rest of the world. It was fun sometimes. Feeling his sanity slip away and all, yet he hadn't lost enough to actually jump out of that window, this was all Malfoy's fault, Malfoy's sadistic obsession.

He was in his beloved tower again, sitting on his usual spot on the ledge of the only window. This time though, he wasn't alone.

"Fancy meeting you here Potter. So… where's your entourage?" Draco's lazy drawl came from the only entrance. Harry would have laughed. 'Well, here's my finger to stick down my throat; here's the tall tower and my masochist thoughts. All we need is a mirror so I can ridicule myself.'

"What do you want Malfoy?" he mocked; copying the same drawl Malfoy was famous for.

"Remember Potter, how you told me that you would die for me?" He asked his tone menacing, it didn't really sound like he would be pledging his love to Harry anytime soon. Harry was shocked and confused. Shocked because Malfoy was talking to him, confused because Malfoy was talking to him.

His life lately had been nothing but dim muses and unnecessary flashbacks…

Harry was on his knees half naked while Draco was laying down his cock out and in Harry's mouth, a silencing spell around the room so Draco's moans could not be heard.

'_Harry make me come… Now!' he commanded and Harry sucked harder. He eventually came and Harry had to spit it all out. _

'_What the bloody hell did you do that for?' he asked angrily. He back handed the darker haired boy and screamed 'Next time Potter, you drink it all up.' _

_Harry's cheek stung and he was pretty close to tears. Instead of feeling sorry for him, Draco went into his controlling mode. 'Harry do you love me?' _

_The other nodded. 'I would die for you.'_

"Your point Malfoy?" he asked, the lazy drawl fighting to stay in his voice.

"Prove it." he ordered and tossed Harry a dagger that was hidden in his robes.

Harry stared at it angrily then he turned to his ex-lover.

"Prove it to you? What gives you the bloody right to tell me that? After all I've done its still not proof enough that I _love _you? I gave up my friends for you; I turned Dumbledore away and joined Voldemort for you. Isn't that proof enough?" he hissed, pointing at the dark mark on his arm.

Draco raised an eyebrow and said 'no' as if it were a simple answer. "Dying for me is the _only _proof." Draco could have been wrong, he was wrong but at that moment his rational part was pretty irrational. He took the knife and slit the area over his dark mark. But the knife was too dull.

"I knew it Potter, we're over." He said, fake disbelief.

"As if I didn't know that." He shouted back and threw the blade at his back, which he didn't feel because the robes were too thick.

"You want proof?" he whispered to no one as he stepped off the ledge. "Here's your proof."

Harry's always been like that, at first he felt unwanted, what a horrible emotion. Then he felt loved. It should have felt nice and 'fuzzy' for lack of better word because of all those eleven years with the Dursleys, but no, it felt odd. Then when he met Malfoy and had to sit through the shit he had to say about his newfound friends, he felt unbearable hate. Now he was incapable of those feelings, of any feelings.

'Malfoy, you idiot, the knife wasn't even that sharp.'

**End.**

**Review please. Then after, you can review my other story 'Two Hearts, One Beat'**

**Summary: People say one heart beats for one person. What if two people had the same heart?**

**Thankssssssss.**


	2. There Goes one tear

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**Pairings: you can say its HP/DM**

**Rating: R**

**Summary: His life lately had been dark and depressing. He was nothing more than a full videotape, full of memories. Except one would not wish to keep on replaying this depressing videotape.**

**Chapter Title: There Goes one tear.**

**Draco's POV**

I rather fancy the fact that Potter would jump for me. I didn't really mean it, the bit I said about proving his love to me by dying, but I guess he though I did since they found his body on a bloodied and twisted mess at the bottom of the tower. Such a gruesome sight to be honest, but alas, I am a slytherin.

Potter was a bit of a git doing that for little ol' me. Both of us knew it was just a game. Well, I saw it as a game he didn't though. Now, I sort of miss him. I miss the way he would cry when I deprive him of sex at night, actually the way he would cry for me period. Voldemort would be so proud of me.

Lord knows how he ever started loving me. Subconscious acts maybe? I do vaguely remember picking up a book for someone who dropped it. Such an unloved whore, he would have done anything for me.

Dumbledore called me to his office. By now everyone heard of Harry's suicide and I bet my whole bank account at Gringotts that someone told the old coot of our 'relationship.' Ah, well that's what Malfoys live for: lying, deception and an occasional unforgivable (well, not occasional). Pathetic really, how the only way he can get one up on me is by committing suicide.

I entered the headmaster's office only a grace a Malfoy can have and I stare at him with a look of boredom. Of course that damn twinkle (I have a suspicion that its charmed to stay there forever) is gone from his eye as he hears about the death of golden boy. Oh dear, whoever shall save them from the dark lord now?

"Mr. Malfoy, I understand you and Harry have developed some sort of a relationship since fifth year, am I correct?" he asked with his stupid all knowing voice.

No, 'headmaster,' you are not correct given the fact that I practically told you that myself, but…

"A relationship Albus? I highly doubt that. More like a bond, or a frequent get together in bedrooms, but not a relationship, never a relationship." It was hard to sound menacing when you're trying to intimidate someone. "But go one."

"All right, a 'bond' then. During your little sessions, Draco, has he ever told you anything that might have lead up to his current state right now?"

Current state? What the fuck? He's dead… it's easier to say old geezer.

"What state?" I asked as innocently as a Malfoy, much less a slytherin could conjure up. It was always fun to watch him squirm even if the occasion was basically non-existent.

"Mr. Malfoy…" he said dangerously. Amazing. Dumbledore dangerous system malfunction.

"No. As you know Professor. I am in it merely for the shag. There were barely any talk during those times." Well maybe except for the time when he told me how much he hated the world, the school, and his mates… well basically everything in the world, except me (how corny was he, really?) but I couldn't tell him, it didn't feel right. Harry asked me to promise. If there were such a thing as a death gift, that would be it.

"Hey wait a tick. I thought you hated Harry for turning against you?" I taunted him. Uh-oh guilt trip, too bad though, he didn't give the expected reaction.

"I was bitter, Draco because I wanted Harry to come back to me. I did not, will never hate him." yeah, yeah whatever. I, Draco Malfoy, cannot stay in civilized conversations without hexing the being I was talking to at then end and I don't think dad would like the fact that I was expelled from school because I gave the headmaster a few (okay a lot) of boils and warts on his face, so I leave.

It was suspicious that Dumbledore had his office at the top of the castle and the slytherin common rooms all the way at the bottom. Much more suspicious how he releases me near curfew for other prefects to find me and deduct house points. But, it leaves me more time for my thoughts I guess. Bloody hell, I hate thinking.

I reach into my pocket and pull out a poem Harry gave to me on my birthday. It would have been sweet if it complimented me or had anything to do with me, but it was a self-pity poem, selfish bastard.

_Heavy weight on my shoulders, difficult to carry._

_Support me. Comfort me. Help me._

_One mistake after another, the outcome, 'tis I._

_Broken videotape full of my lies._

_Help me sweet lover take it away,_

_Shed one tear for me please set it astray._

Potter should have lived and became a famous writer. He is excellent. But enough of that, my problems shall be dealt with tonight and no Potter musings shall interrupt me. Now, first problem...

Who can I show off to Blaise? I lost the bragging right of shagging the boy-who-lived when he's not too lively now is he? The other problem… who's going to fall on their knees to fulfill my every whim and basically die for me? Certainly not Potter. And what's more is that I have a hard on practically made for Potter. I guess I'll have to settle for wanking… for tonight.

It's pretty odd, touching myself that is. It doesn't feel right for two things. One a Malfoy never wanks no matter how many times weasel calls me a wanker and two, only Potter knows how to do it right. How did he do this again? Slow, squeeze, fast or was it slow, slow, fast, squeeze, fast

"EH DRACO YOU IN THERE?" damn that Zabini. Never mind, I'll deal with myself later.

"Good job Malfoy. The dark lord will be so proud of you. Maybe you'll take your father's place." Truth be told, what this bitch says kind of turned me off and am in no position to… entertain myself. Oh fuck it.

"Zabini…"

"Hmmm…?"

"Fuck off." He left looking unfazed used to the fact that I dismiss everyone so rudely.

Okay, so maybe Potter wasn't exactly just my personal pleasure slave. Maybe I do need him more than I led myself to believe seeing as how I'm constantly thinking of him right now. Bloody hell, maybe this is his revenge from the grave?

I go to a box Potter insisted in me keeping the letters he sends me and I read most of them. Just the pointless lovesick words, 'I love you with all my heart' and whatever. There was one however he sent me about three days ago that I didn't bother reading.

Hey love… I mean Draco. You wouldn't believe what happened today, Hermione spoke to me! So what if it was on accident (she bumped into me and said sorry) she did it anyway. I was planning on killing myself for them. I'm sorry I love you more than them, but if they wont talk to me I wont live. It's been rather depressing lately… I'll talk to you later.

It was quite desperate, but I'm pretty much relieved to know that I didn't emotionally murder Harry by myself.

It came as quite a shock when I felt regret and guilt filling the empty space my heart was supposed to be in. Potter – Harry, you got me all right, your last minute revenge worked perfectly. Your father would have been proud of you.

_Help me sweet lover take it away,_

_Shed one tear for me please set it astray._

Well Potter, if you ask so nicely, there goes one tear.

**End.**

**A/N: what the fuck is canon? And here's the after story (?) in draco's view. Hope it answers all your question. When Draco thought Harry fell in love with him because he subconsciously picked a book for someone, he was wrong. Harry fell inlove with him out of nowhere… I thought you guys would have read it 'He found himself entranced.' DUH. **

**People who tell me that Draco and Harry don't belong together can reach in between their legs and play with it!**

**Review please. Then after, you can review my other story 'Two Hearts, One Beat'**

**Summary: People say one heart beats for one person. What if two people had the same heart?**

**Thankssssssss.**


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